Last week I wrote briefly on the significance of the imposition of ashes as part of an Ash Wednesday service.  Today I’d like to share a little more about the larger season of Lent and how it can strengthen and nourish your soul this year.

In 1 Corinthians 9, Paul employs an extended analogy from athletics to describe the importance of discipline in the Christian life.  (For more on this passage, see this sermon summary.)  He notes that while athletes run in order to win, winning isn’t the result of running. Winning is the result of training. While there is no point in training without running, there is no hope in running without training.

But what exactly are we called to train?  Certainly not our bodies, for the race Paul is describing is not won by speed or even mere physical endurance.  So if not our bodies, what?

• First, we are called to train our minds. Our actions are frequently determined by our thoughts.  Our actions follow where our thoughts lead. That’s why Colossians 3:2 commands us to “Set our minds on things above, not on earthly things.“  The natural tendency is to begin thinking in the same ways and about the same things as those who surround us.  But God calls us to break from the worldview of our culture and to be transformed in our minds.
• Second, we are called to train our appetites. Just as our actions are influenced by our thoughts, our thoughts are frequently steered by our appetites.  We dwell on that which we desire.  That’s why Peter instructs “Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk so that by it you may grow up in your salvation, now that you have tasted that the Lord is good (1 Peter 2:2-3).”  By tasting the goodness of God, even the best the world has to offer becomes less appetizing.
• Third, we are called to train our priorities. Maybe train isn’t the right word, but our priorities definitely need to get into shape, because while actions mirror thoughts, and thoughts mirror our appetites, our appetites mirror our priorities.  When Paul shares his testimony with the Philippians, a key phrase is his commitment “But one thing I do (Philippians 3:13-14, NIV).  Freedom is not found in chasing after many objectives, it’s choosing the One that matters and making it the one thing we do.

This’s why Lent is so important in our spiritual development.  The fasting and feasting of Lent helps us to accomplish precisely this kind of training.

There’s a Bible verse I like to use as a mnemonic device to help myself remember the key parts of Lenten observance. Matthew 16:24 reads

Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.

Now this verse is hardly scriptural warrant for Lenten observances.  To use it such a way is to take it wholly out of context.  However, as long as one understands that the warrant for Lenten observance is found in the teaching of Scipture as a whole (including the verses about training our minds, appetites and priorities cited above) this verse can be helpful for illustrating the pattern of Lenten observance.

I deny myself.

The Lenten fast is an exercise in self-denial. We choose to give something up in order to be drawn closer to God.  By giving up something we enjoy and will miss, we create a frequent internal reminder to turn our thoughts God-ward.  Every time we feel the tug of our very natural appetites for that thing we enjoy, it becomes a reminder to focus instead on God.

But as long as it is something you will miss, what you give up isn’t nearly as important as why.  In fact, you can give up a number of different things.  Some give up meat.  Some fast sugar and sugary snacks.  Some fast video games, social media or other entertainments.  Need help choosing something? Here are some guidelines:

• It should be something you enjoy. Choose something like meat or sugar, and your appetites will turn your attention God-ward.  On the other hand, choose something like lima beans or okra (seriously, who likes okra?), and you’ll be lucky to even notice that you’ve given something up.
• It should be something you can give up and still be healthy. The point of fasting is not to trade health for devotion.  In fact, to fast in a way that does damage to the temple of the Holy Spirit is to dishonor the God you are claiming to serve.  Lent is not  an excuse to indulge eating disorders, either by indulging in excess or through abstention.
• It should be something you can give up and still be responsible. No giving up homework or housework here.  It dishonors God to use our supposed worship as an excuse to shirk our responsibilities to others.  Jesus addresses this very issue in Mark 7 when he condemns the practice of using the tradition of Corban to avoid duty to family. Lenten fasting also fits that pattern.

What happens as we fast?  Precisely the kind of training we most need.  Fasting trains our minds by regularly turning them God-ward.  It gives us practice ordering our actions according to our will, rather than our appetites.  And it reminds us about what is truly important.

I take up my cross.

Contrary to popular opinion, Lent is not just about giving something up for 40 days.  Lent is also about taking something up.  It’s not just about fasting; it’s about feasting.  Sheila Mullican recently wrote a stunningly beautiful post about this very thing. Lent is an opportunity to take up an additional devotion to nourish our souls even as we restrain and thereby retrain our appetites.

What should we take up?

Perhaps you’ve not yet developed a regular pattern of spending time truly meditating on God’s Word.  Maybe your prayer life is an occasional, one-sided status update than a life-sustaining conversation.  Lent is an opportune time to change that.  Maybe your devotional life is healthy, but you’ve not given your soul and mind some good solid food for some time.  A book that challenges your preconceptions and invites you to think deeply about the things of God may be just what you need to take up this season.  Perhaps it’s time to develop a new spiritual discipline like journaling or praying the daily office.  Once again, the critical question is not what but why.

I follow Jesus.

Of course, if we are going to follow Jesus, we should probably have some idea where he is going.  Jesus always goes to those who are the least of these.  Jesus sees the needs of the people, has compassion on them, and moves to help them.  He’s the one who comforts the grieving widow, touches the leper in his loneliness and gives voice to the mute.

Granted, Jesus also withdraws to the lonely places to pray.  Lent frequently focuses on this withdrawal.  But we must always remember that Jesus withdraws in order to re-engage.  The movement that is the life of Christ is not just ebb; it also flows as he is poured out for the life of the world.  If we are truly following him, we will not only withdraw to our prayer closet, but having done so, we will also re-engage the needs of our world.

Lent has always included this aspect of service as well as devotion.  Money not spent on the rich foods set aside during Lent is freed up to be given to the needs of the poor.  Time freed from indulging in unnecessary entertainments can be spent helping others.  Lent provides us the opportunity to spend ourselves for the needs around us.  The only question: will we do so?

What will your Lenten observance include this year?

What will you give up to train your thoughts, appetites and priorities?

What discipline will you take up to nourish your soul and mind?

What service will you do for the needs of those around you this season?

Our church is preparing to embark on an exciting journey next Wednesday night. Along with many sister churches across the denomination, we will be journeying from Ash Wednesday, through Easter, to Pentecost Sunday in a series we’re calling Ashes to Fire.

To begin this journey, we will be having a special Ash Wednesday service on Wednesday, March 9 at 6:30 pm.  Like most Ash Wednesday observances, our worship service will focus on reflection and repentance at the outset of our Lenten journey.  And as in similar Ash Wednesday observances in the past, our service will include a ritual called the imposition of ashes.

We realize that such a ritual may seem unusual to some of our parishioners.  It is very possible to have grown up Nazarene and never taken part in such a ritual.  Understandably the unfamiliarity of the ritual to some, as well as its association in the minds of some with our Roman Catholic brothers and sisters, leads to questions.  This is my attempt to answer some of these.

What is Lent?

Lent is the 40 day period from Ash Wednesday to Easter Sunday.  There is great Biblical significance to the number 40.  In particular, the 40 days of Lent remind us of the 40 days Jesus spent fasting in the wilderness being prepared by the Spirit for his earthly ministry. In keeping with his pattern, we spend 40 days prayerfully preparing ourselves for the celebration of his resurrection on Easter Sunday.

Why are the 46 days between Ash Wednesday and Easter?

Great question!  The answer is both simple and straightforward.  Lent is a period of fasting and repentance.  Sunday (not just Easter Sunday, but every Sunday) is a celebration of the Resurrection.  Sunday is always a time for feasting, never a time for fasting.  As a result, the Sundays between Ash Wednesday and Easter are not included in the Lenten fast.  Take away the Sundays, and you get 40 days.

Why ashes?

As Christians around the world gather in worship next Wednesday, many of them will have the sign of the cross placed on their brow in a ritual called the imposition of the ashes.  But why?

Scripturally, ashes are a visible symbol of mourning and repentance.  In Job 42, as the story of Job’s suffering draws to a close, Job realizes his need for forgiveness, he announces

You asked, ‘Who is this that obscures my plans without knowledge?’
Surely I spoke of things I did not understand,
things too wonderful for me to know.
“You said, ‘Listen now, and I will speak;
I will question you,
and you shall answer me.’
My ears had heard of you
but now my eyes have seen you.
Therefore I despise myself
and repent in dust and ashes. (Job 42:3-6)

Job’s last words in the book speak of dust and ashes as a sign of repentance.  And Job’s not alone. Daniel 9:3,  Matthew 11:21, Luke 10:13, and Hebrews 9:13 all cite ashes as a symbol of repentance.  And so as we gather on Ash Wednesday, we put on the ashes to demonstrate physically the spiritual act of repentance taking place in our hearts.

But it’s more than just that.  In Genesis 3:19 one of the curses that came with humanity’s fall is the decree “…From dust you are, and to dust you will return.”  The ashes of Ash Wednesday are not only a symbol of our repentance; they also serve as a visible reminder of our mortality and call us to humility and reflection.

Isn’t the Imposition of Ashes a Catholic ritual?

Absolutely. And that’s a good thing.  The word catholic comes from the Greek adjective katholikos which is a compound word made up of kata (about) and holos (the whole); it means “universal.” When we declare in the Apostle’s Creed that we believe “in the holy catholic church” we are professing our belief that the Christian faith transcends our own local congregation, even our own denomination, and includes all those who call of the name of Jesus Christ for salvation.

And the imposition of the ashes is a catholic practice.  It transcends any one denominational tradition and has been practiced by Christians across the centuries and around the world.  It is not the act of any single denomination or sect, it is the practice of the Church, big C, which unites all Christians everywhere.  Granted, some traditions and some congregations within various traditions have neglected the practice.  But that does not mean it is not a catholic practice.

You know what I meant.  Isn’t it a Roman Catholic practice?

The imposition of ashes is practiced within the Roman Catholic church, yes.  But it is certainly not exclusively Roman Catholic.  The imposition of ashes is no more a Roman Catholic practice than prayer or  the Eucharist/Communion is.  It is an act of worship that historically transcends any single denomination.

What is more, it has long been practiced in our tradition.  The Church of the Nazarene has it’s roots in the American Methodist movement that rose out of the Wesleyan revival of the 18th century.  We trace our ecclesial history through John Wesley to the Church of England.  And both Anglicans and Methodists have long practiced the imposition of ashes.

But prayer and Eucharist are commanded in Scripture. Isn’t the imposition of ashes an unscriptural ritual?

It depends what you mean by unscriptural.  There is no place in the Bible where Christians are commanded to annually demonstrate their repentance by placing the sign of the cross in ashes on their foreheads.  However, there is no place in the Bible where such a practice is forbidden either.

And there are a lot of rituals in any church that are not expressly commanded in Scripture.  There is no verse in the Bible that says “Thou shalt repeat the final chorus of ‘It is Well’ to really drive the point of that song home.”  Yet you and I both know we do it almost every time we sing the song.  Likewise, there’s no passage of scripture that commands clapping when the ushers come forward to take the offering, or coming forward to kneel at the altar in prayer.

“But the Bible does talk about being a cheerful giver.  That’s why we clap.”

That is precisely my point.  The Bible also talks about wearing ashes as a physical sign of our repentance before God.  Out of that biblical tradition the practice of the imposition of ashes arises.  That means it is no more, and no less, biblical than many of the other rituals, official and unofficial, we practice every week.

But doesn’t Matthew 6:16-18 say we should wash our faces when we fast?

Yes, it does.  And the point of that teaching is that fasting is to be a personal act of devotion, not a public plea for attention.  When Jesus said “Put oil on your head and wash your face” he wasn’t forbidding personal physical demonstrations of contrition.  He was addressing the common practice of putting on a public display of contrition in order to make others think of one as more religious or spiritual.

If you attend an Ash Wednesday service and participate in the imposition of ashes in order to get the attention of other people and to appear more spiritual in their eyes, you are definitely in violation of the Jesus’ teaching here.  However, to participate in a service which includes the imposition of ashes as a sign of deeply personal and corporate repentance is nor more a violation of this teaching than bowing your head for the pastoral prayer in worship is a violation of Jesus command to pray in the closet to be seen by God alone.  It’s not a matter of where that matters, it’s the question of why.

I hope this answers some of your questions about the practice.  I hope even more that this coming Wednesday you will join other Christians across the years and around the world in expressing your repentance through the imposition of ashes.

We will look at other Lenten practices and this journey we’re calling Ashes to Fire in future posts.  But if you have any questions about the imposition of ashes, or stories of how the practice has strengthened your fatih, I hope you will share them in the comments below.

Photo Credit: You are Dust by Mike_tn on Flickr is used under an attribution, non-commercial, non-derivative Creative Commons license.

I recently received the Big Chap-ter, an email update from a good friend and youth evangelist Jim Chapman (or Big Chap as he’s affectionately, if ironically, known.)  In one part, he observes that frequently he sees youth workers at camps and retreats who spend the week  hanging out with the students who seem to have it all together, while students with challenging personalities and difficult problems sit alone on the margins.  It led him to reflect:

It reminded me of how we get caught in that trap of gravitating to students that don’t make us work hard at ministry. This is easy to do, but opposite of Jesus’ approach. When we look at the ministry of Jesus He spent time with prostitutes, tax collectors, liars, and sinners. (Read the full article.)

Opposite of Jesus’ approach

That’s the line that really caught my attention.  And I think it’s right on.  How often do we avoid the messy and seek the easy, when Jesus calls us to the least of these?  We rationalize, telling ourselves that we are doing ministry Jesus’ way, focusing on the Peter’s, James’ and John’s of our ministry, discipling those students with the natural charisma to become disciplers.

But we forget that before they met Jesus, Peter, James and John were neither natural leaders nor the cool kids in school.  As fishermen, they were the kids who weren’t cool enough to get into school. Certainly they had not deemed worthy of selection to be talmadim, or disciples of a rabbi–at least not until Jesus found them along the shore of the Sea of Galilee plying their trade.  It wasn’t natural leadership potential or charisma that made them prime candidates for discipleship.  It was the time they spent with Jesus that qualified them to be leaders and disciplers. (Just ask the synagogue leaders — Acts 4:13.)

So, after whose pattern are you discipling: the rabbis of Capernaum who passed over the Sons of Thunder for Bet Talmud, or Jesus who reached out to those on the margins and made them ministers?

You can read the full article, and sign up to receive future editions of the Big Chap-ter yourself here.

Or check out Big Chap on the web.

True Love, Condoms and Purity Pledges

In my last post on this subject, True Love, Waiting and Purity Pledges, I questioned just how newsworthy the recent study by Janet Rosenbaum really is.  The study in question examines how effective purity pledges are in delaying the onset of sexual activity in teenagers by comparing students who report having made such a pledge with students from similar familial, religious and relational backgrounds who did not report making a pledge.

The study finds, ”Adolescents who take virginity pledges are not less sexually active than closely matched adolescents who do not take pledges, but they are less likely to use birth control and condoms.”

Previously, I reflected on what the first part of that finding should suggest about how we minister to teens.  Today I’d like to examine the implications of the second part of that finding – the fact that those who make purity pledges are significantly less likely than non-pledgers to use condoms or birth control if and when they do have sex.

Surprising Results

Actually, the study findings regarding significantly decreased condom use among purity pledgers who do have sex is not surprising at all.  This is something those who study the intended and unintended consequences of Abstinence Only Sex Education (ASOE) have known for a long time.

The question is, if failure to use condoms consistently and correctly significantly increases the risk of pregnancy and certain STD’s, why aren’t we teaching our kids about contraceptives?  Why do so many family advocacy groups argue against such education?

In part it’s a matter of perception.  The argument claims that educating children about contraceptives sends a mixed message. It is tantamount to telling students “You shouldn’t have sex before marriage, but we know this is an unrealistic and unattainable goal.”  And one can see some merit to the argument.

Take for example the actions of the Bisbee, Arizona school board who in April earned the attention of Family News in Focus by distributing gift bags to all prom attendees which included, among other things, condoms.  One can see how such action creates the perception that school officials expect students to have sex on prom night, and that such sexual activity is normal.

It is also a matter of implementation.  Those who argue in favor of ASOE point out that so-called comprehensive sex education (CSE) typically gives very little attention to abstinence. The Heritage Foundation’s study “Comprehensive Sex Education vs Authentic Abstinence: a study of competing curricula (PDF)” found that what they call “authentic abstinence” curricula devoted, on average, over half of its page content to promoting abstinence and 17% towards healthy relationships and marriage, as opposed to CSE programs which devoted only 4.7% of page content to abstinence and did not include any instruction about relationships and marriage.

These are both very valid concerns about CSE, and should give pause to anyone who wants truly comprehensive sex education that addresses not only the physiological but the emotional and relational aspects of sexuality.  But that’s where the surprising results come into play.

Despite the logical argument that teaching both abstinence and the importance of consistent, correct use of contraceptive for those who fail to abstain sends mixed messages, the fact remains: education about consistent, correct use of contraceptives does not increase sexual activity among students, nor does it decrease the average age of sexual debut. In other words, logical arguments aside, teaching students about condoms does not cause them to have more sex, or to have it sooner.

This is the truth about contraceptive education that eight years of ASOE policy at the federal level has obscured.  Despite research like that done by Sellers, McGraw, and McKinlay (1994), S Guttmacher, et al (1997), FF Furstenburg, et al. (PDF, 1997) ,  Mark Schuster, et al (1998), and Susan Blake, et al. (2003), ASOE advocates not only resist teaching about condoms, they attempt to hide the fact that such education has no negative effect (and according to some studies a positive effect) on the attempt to prevent teenage sexual activity.

In 2002, the CDC removed its online fact sheet for public health personnel  ”Condoms and Their Use in Preventing HIV Infection and other STDs (PDF),” replacing it with a revised version entitled “Male Latex Condoms and Sexually Transmitted Diseases (PDF).”  (The former fact sheet is now only available from sites other than the CDC, and the CDC’s URL for the former fact sheet now re-directs readers to the latter.)

Among the changes in the document was the removal of any mention of the research that shows that education about the consistent and correct use of contraceptives does not increase teenage sexual activity.   Apparently the CDC does not want public health personnel to realize that education about contraceptives does not increase sexual activity among teens.

Implications for Youth Ministry

So, taken together, what do these two facts – that ASOE has the unintended consequence of reducing contraceptive use among sexually active teens, and that CSE does not increase sexual activity among teens – mean for youth workers and parents?

First we must take into account the legitimate concerns about CSE.

If we are going to teach students about the consistent and correct use of contraceptives, we must make sure we do so in a way that does not send mixed messages.

But is that even possible?

I believe it is, and I believe that we have an example of such teaching in the life and ministry of Jesus Christ.

³Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?”

⁴“Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ ⁵and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? ⁶So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.”

⁷“Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?”

⁸Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. ⁹I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery.”

This story from Matthew 19 deals directly with the question of sending mixed messages.  The Pharisee’s want Jesus’ ruling on the legitimacy of divorce so that they can figure out what side of their debates he weighs in on.  Jesus responds by saying that divorce has never been a part of God’s plan for marriage.

“But didn’t God give Moses provisions for divorce in the law?” they ask.

Granted, none of this has anything to do with contraceptives yet, but notice Jesus’ response.  Essentially he says the divorce provisions there are to protect people from some of the ugliest consequences of deviating from God’s plan for marriage.  Hebrew divorce law provided at least some protection for the rights of women in a society that treated them like property.  It ensured that should a husband choose to discard his wife, he must release her from her obligations to him so that she could remarry.

“But it was not this way from the beginning,” Jesus adds.  In other words, just because God made provision for your protection, it does not imply that He is giving you permission.  Divorce is still a violation of his design for marriage.  It still has ugly consequences from which no amount of legislation can shield you.  And it still grieves His heart.

Did you catch that?  Protection does not imply permission.  If we teach our teens about the consistent and correct use of contraceptives in such a way that stresses this fact, I believe we avoid sending them mixed messages.  Especially if we point out that, like divorce laws, this protection cannot shield them from all the consequences of abandoning God’s plan for sex.  But that’s a subject to which we’ll return.  For now, suffice it to say that we can teach students how to protect themselves without implying they have our permission to reject God’s plan.  At least that’s what Jesus did with divorce.

If we are going to teach students about the consistent and correct use of contraceptives, we must make sure the protection provided by contraceptives does not overshadow the vital importance of abstinence.

Comprehensive sex education that mentions abstinence only in passing is less than comprehensive, especially given the fact that contraceptives only protect against some of the consequences of premarital sexual activity.  And CSE that implies that sexual activity is normative, healthy and expected for teenagers is far from acceptable.  But again, I believe we can instruct teens about the protections that contraceptives provide without falling into these errors.

Secondly, we must make sure that we do not exaggerate.

This too is a two-fold danger.

Some ASOE programs exaggerate the unreliability of contraceptives.  For an example, one needs only to look again at the changes made to the CDC fact sheet about condoms.  I understand the reasoning behind such exaggerations.  It’s an attempt to scare teenagers out of having premarital sex by making sure they know there’s no way they can do it safely.  And at the most basic level that is true.  There is no way you can safely engage in premarital sex because contraceptives only protect against some of the dangers. However, if we distort the truth about those dangers against which the consistent and correct use of contraceptives can protect, it is no wonder the student we influence are less likely to use them if they do have sex.  We must teach the truth about the efficacy of condoms and other contraceptives.

However, some CSE programs exaggerate the efficacy of condoms.

Latex and polyurethane condoms only protect against some STD’s, specifically those that are transmitted through the contact of bodily fluids with mucous membranes.  Some STD’s (and STI’s – sexually transmitted infections) can be transmitted by skin-to-skin contact.  Condoms only protect against these kinds of STD’s like Herpes and HPV when infected areas are covered by the condom, which is not always the case.

Secondly, the key to the efficacy of condoms, as limited as it may be, is their consistent and correct use.  If there is one demographic that does not use them consistently and correctly, it is adolescents.  Add to that the way that the urgency of sexual temptation causes adolescents to act without fully thinking out the consequences and you have a recipe for disaster.  CSE must stress that contraceptives provide protection only if used correctly every time.

Thirdly, while condoms, when used consistently and correctly, do a very good job of protecting the body from some of the physical consequences of sexual activity, they are completely ineffective in protecting against the emotional, relational and spiritual consequences of sexual activity.  CSE is not comprehensive if it fails to educate students about these additional consequences.

In our True Love Waits curriculum, we teach students that sex changes things.  It’s consequences are more than just physical.

• Sex changes our current relationships.  Time that should be spent creating true emotional and relational intimacy and forming the foundation of a lasting relationship is instead spent creating a premature physical bond through sexual intimacy, and the quality and stability of the relationship is thus undermined.
• Sex changes the length of our relationships. Sex was created by God to create a physical bond between two people.  And it does.  We become attached to those with whom we have sex.  As a result sexually active partners sometimes stay in unhealthy and dysfunctional relationships which would have ended long ago, were it not for an unwillingness to experience the pain of breaking the physical attachment created by sex.
• Sex changes our future relationships. It undermines trust and commitment by introducing the constant fear of comparison and the dissatisfaction that such comparisons sometimes bring.  It also causes us to bring the unneeded baggage of guilt and shame into our future relationships.  What is more, research shows the more times we break the bond of physical intimacy, the easier it is for us to do it again.  The relational glue of sexual intimacy, which was designed by God to strengthen the real intimacy between husband and wife, becomes less effective.
• Sex changes our relationship with God. One cannot willingly rebel against God’s clear design for one’s life without damaging this relationship.  Just as premarital sex introduces guilt and shame into our future relationships, it also poisons our relationship with God.

And while condoms do provide protection from some of the physical effects of sex, condoms can do nothing to protect our minds, our hearts or our souls.

Finally, we as youth ministers must make sure parents have the right information on which to base their decisions.

Whether it is deciding what to teach their children at home or it is being advocates of effective sex education in schools, parents need to make right decisions about what and when to teach their children.  And as long as we are basing our decisions on the faulty perception that somehow teaching students about contraceptives will cause them to have more sex and to have it sooner, our decisions will always be flawed.

Unfortunately there aren’t a lot of voices out there letting parents know this truth.  And as soon as anyone points this fact out, they typically are lumped in as “one of them” who thinks all teens will and should be having sex.  Parents need to hear strong advocates of abstinence acknowledge the fact that just because a teen knows about a condom does not mean they will have sex.  If we really are to be ministers to not only the teens but also the whole family, we must help families have accurate and complete information.

Click here to see the rest of our True Love Waits posts all in one place.

(photo courtesy of riekhavoc on flickr)

Purity Pledges and Waiting Until Marriage

The news has been making a lot about a recently released study by Janet E. Rosenbaum which studies the effectiveness of purity pledges in helping teens wait until marriage before having sex.  All the major outlets have run a story, from FoxNEWS to MSNBC, the Chicago Tribune to the Washington Post,  US News and World Report to Newsweek. (Oh, wait.  As far as I can tell, Newsweek is one of the few sources that hasn’t run a story on it yet.)

Stories have been leading with titles as titillating as ‘,Abstinence-only’ is a total crock, That virginity pledge I took didn’t work….and now I have four children, and the incredibly misleading Study: Teens Who Took Virginity Plan More Likely To Have Sex.

However, I have to wonder just how newsworthy this really is.

First, the report was released recently, but the data is old.  It’s based on the National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health (also known as the Add Health study), an impressive study which has followed a representative sample of American teenagers from the 1994-1995 school year when they were in grades 7-12 through the present, when during 2008 interviews study participants were between 24 and 32.  Unlike other studies which compare this years youth with previous years youth (comparing similar groups of different individuals) this study follows the same individuals through adolescence and into early adulthood.

Of course, that means the teens in question were teenagers in the late 90′s (average age of 17 in 1996) and the effects of purity pledges were based on answers to interviews in 2001 when participants were an average age of 25.  This study looks at the results of purity pledges as promoted in the 90′s, as opposed to what is happening in schools and youth ministries today.  That then begs the question whether or not we’ve learned anything or improved what we do in the last decade.

What is more, there have already been studies that look at the effectiveness of purity pledges. The consensus appears to be that purity pledges delay the onset of sexual activity, but do not necessarily cause teens to wait until they are married.  They wait until they are older, yes.  But not until marriage.  That “news” is nothing new.

What makes this study different is that it attempts to isolate the purity pledge from other factors that might contribute to a delay in onset of sexual activity.  Rosenbaum notes “One year before pledging, pledgers are more religious, less sexually experienced, and hold more negative attitudes about sex and birth control than adolescents who do not go on to take a virginity pledge.”  This study attempts to isolate the effects of the pledge itself by comparing students who make a purity pledge, not with all teens in the sample, but with teens of similar religious, famililal and behavorial backgrounds.

When such differences are taken into account and taken out of the equation, Rosenbaum’s research shows that “Adolescents who take virginity pledges are not less sexually active than closely matched adolescents who do not take pledges, but they are less likely to use birth control and condoms.”

What is news is that Rosenbaum’s study refutes an earliers study by the RAND corporation.  The RAND study also attempted to compare pledgers with non-pledgers of similar religious, familial and relational backgrounds.  The RAND study showed that over a three year period (as opposed to the five year period in Rosenbaum’s study) 42% of participants reported having sex as opposed to 34% of those who made a purity pledge.

Perhaps the most interesting findings, in my opinion, is the speed at which purity pledge participants forget their pledges.  Rosenbaum’s research found that five years after having made a purity pledge, 81.9% of pledgers denied ever having made a purity pledge.  This finding re-inforces Rosenbaums 2006 report that within one year of making a purity pledge 53% of pledgers recanted ever having made the pledge.

What Does This Mean For Youth Ministry?

It doesn’t matter to me whose numbers you believe.  I don’t find the RAND corporation’s 8% difference between pledgers and non-pledgers any more reassuring that Rosenbaum’s finding of no statistically significant difference.  The fact is purity pledges are not the solution to the problem of premarital sexual activity.  That doesn’t mean we should stop teaching the importance of abstinence as youth ministers, it simply means we might need to change the way we do so.

Today I want to look at what effect the finding that “adolescents who take virginity pledges are not less sexually active than closely matched adolescents who do not take pledges” should have on how we teach God’s design for sexuality.  Next week I’ll reflect on what, if any, changes the secondary finding – “they are less likely to use birth control and condoms” – should suggest.

The problem isn’t that teens are too young for sex.

Every two years our youth ministry features a ”True Love Waits” campaign.  That’s not to say that we only teach on the importance of purity every two years, but every two years we place a special emphasis on it and encourage teens to either make or reaffirm a purity pledge with the support of their parents.  We run it on a two year cycle to make sure that every student that grows up in our ministry has the opportunity to go through the core curriculum in their Junior High years and then goes through a reinforcement curriculum during Senior High.

One of the lessons in the series, “Truth and Consequences” features a true false quiz.  And one of the statements we ask them to evaluate is “Sex is for people in mature, loving relationships, not for casual encounters.”

When you stop to reflect it’s not surpring that every time we ask the question welll over 90% of participants assume that statement is true.

After all, that is the message that they hear from most voices in their lives.  The school tells them they are too young for sex.  Despite the media’s bad reputation, television does a pretty good job of making sure teens know sex isn’t for casual encounters and they need to be more mature before they’re ready to handle it.  Even parents tell their kids they are too young for sex.

The problem is that while sex was not created for casual encounters, the criteria by which God judges is not “are you mature enough for sex.”  The question is “Are you married enough for sex.”  Our teaching needs to stress this reality. We must re-evaluate our teaching to make sure that we aren’t implying a message of “wait until you are older” and are teaching the truth “wait until you are married.”

The message must be reinforced.

If teens make a purity pledge with such casual disregard that within a year more than half of them won’t even claim to have made such a pledge, we -parents and youth workers alike – cannot assume that if we get them to put on a purity ring we’ve won the battle.  We must be finding ways to constantly reinforce the message about purity and challenge teens to reaffirm their prior commitments.

We must provide the assets that really make the difference.

Perhaps in my opinion, the most helpful part of this study is not the statistical difference between pledgers and “closely matched” non-pledgers, but rather the good start at defining what counts as “closely matched.”  After all, the hypothesis of this study is that it is not the pledge but the familial, religious and relational characteristics of those likely to make a pledge.

If this study proves that it is these characteristics, not the pledge, that matters, our response should not be to abandon teaching the importance of purity, but rather to focus on how we can develop these characteristics in our students.  So, what makes the difference?

Among the factors Rosenbaum took into account were several relating to family sitution: parental education, one- or two-parent homes, close relationships with parents, warm/loving relationships with parents, strong communication with parents, and parental discipline that not only punishes wrong behavior but also explained why that behavior was wrong.  Several examined school conditions such as closeness to schoolmates, a sense of belonging to school community, good relationships with teachers and peers, and involvement in extracurricular activities. Others related to religious involvent, intelligence, pubertal development, and a prior practice of abstinence.

Among the factors most likely to contribute to making a purity pledge and thus which make a teen less likely to engage in sexual activity before marriage are:

• a good relationship to teachers and school peers
• the sense that they are already loved
• regular involvement in church
• regular involvement in youth ministry
• self identification as “Born Again”
• parental religious involvement
• an understanding that premarital sex is wrong

It would seem to me that the more we can do to help develop these assets in our youth, the better chances they have to make good choices regarding abstience.  These, not just the pledge, are the things we need to be focusing on.

A plea for more research

Now that the purity pledge in isolation has been ruled out as really making a difference, the next step would seem to be to do similar studies on these other characteristics.  Which of them really contribute to promoting abstinence, and which are simply stereotypical characteristics of those who abstain?

Take for example contraceptives.  According to Rosenbaum’s methodology, those who wait until marriage to have sex tend to have negative attitudes about birth control and contraception.  However, other research indicates that instruction about the effectiveness and proper use of contraceptives does not contribute to the onset of sexual activity in teens.

So which of the qualities Rosenbaum uses to match pledgers with similar non-pledgers contribute to abstinence and which are simply a reflection of what the researcher expects to find?

Click here to see the rest of our True Love Waits posts all in one place.

A Woodcutter's Toolbox for Youth Ministry

It’s wintertime in Indiana, and that means at least two things at my house.

We’re literally burning through the firewood I stockpiled like a responsible ant while all you grasshoppers were out playing last winter.

And in anticipation of the likely advent of another winter roughly 12 months from now, I’m spending my Wednesdays (my day off) making sure I have another pile well stocked for next winter.  And so it was that I spent about six hours of quality time with my chain saw Wednesday afternoon.

And that got me thinking.

Every time I go woodcutting, there are a handful of things that I take with me.  Some of them are necessary for the task at hand.  Some of them are just to make the job more pleasant.  And today, I realized some of them could be valuable in youth ministry.

Below are five items from my woodcutting toolbox that would be an asset to any youth pastor.  And I’ve even made each image a link to Amazon.com so you can buy some for yourself, should you so choose.

Smith and Wesson Yellow Safety Glasses

A Pair of Yellow Safety Glasses

Safety glasses are indispensable to a woodcutter because even the best loved  chainsaw has a tendency to throw sawdust back in your face.  I suppose an author with a certain philosophical bent would point out how even the best loved teens can, from time to time, through things in our faces that are disappointing or uncomfortable.  But that’s not what I’m going for here.

Because when it comes to merely dealing with blowback, any safety glasses will do.  But as J-Dubs will tell you, when I’m woodcutting, I won’t settle for just any safety glasses.  I insist on yellow tinted safety glasses.

It’s hard to really explain why.  It’s tough to do justice to the difference yellow tinted safety glasses can make.  So I urge you to try them out for yourself.  Get up early one winter morning.  Pack up your wood cutting gear and head out to the fields before the sun peeks over the horizon.  Once you get there, bundle up against the cold and head out into the wind.  And then, in that dreary, gray morning, put on a pair of yellow tinted safety glasses.  See how your outlook on everything changes.  Somehow by blocking out all those blue shades, yellow safety glasses can make the world seem a brighter, cheerier place.

The fact is there are plenty of “blues” in youth ministry.  You know what I mean because you notice them all the time.  And if by some chance you fail to notice one of the negatives, I can guarantee someone in your congregation will point it out to you (or your Senior Pastor).

However, it’s helpful from time to time to block out the blues and focus in on the positives in ministry, especially since developing spiritual maturity in teenagers takes time.  Any parent can tell you it’s easy to become blind to the slow and steady growth of a child.  In the same way, hanging out with the same teens all the time, it’s easy not to notice the gradual changes taking place in them.  But from time to time, just for the sake of sanity, it’s important to stand back and notice those things that are going right in the lives of your teens.  Stop focusing on the negatives and notice the positive.

Of course, I’m sure someone will ask what the difference between my much loved yellow tinted glasses and the much maligned rose-colored variety.  I’d argue it’s the difference between intentionally noticing the things that are going right from time to time and an intentional blindness to the things that are going wrong.

That and you either have to be a girl or really cool to get away with wearing pink.  And I’m neither.

A Pair of Noise Canceling Safety Earmuffs

Peltor H10A Noise Canceling Earmuffs

Woodcutting, like youth ministry, can be hard on the ears if you don’t take precautions.  And when I’m cutting wood, I prefer a good pair of safety earmuffs.  They help drown out some of the constant noise that comes with the job.

Of course, there are other, cheaper options.  My father-in-law, who also heats with wood, prefers a good pair of ear plugs.  But not me.  I’m not a huge fan of sticking things into my ears.  And I find that ear plugs tend to make one deaf to everything.  Good earmuffs cut out only certain frequencies.  Ear plugs tend to shut out it all.

And that can be an important distinction.  Because when you’re cutting wood there are some things you really need to hear.  Like the sound of J-Dubs yelling “Timber!”

Okay, you can stop laughing at me now.

Yes, we really yell “Timber” when we’re cutting wood.

It’s an important warning to hear, especially when there’s a 100-foot tall walnut tree making for your head.  That’s why I don’t wear ear plugs.  I need to drown out the noise and still hear the voices that matter.

That’s true in youth ministry, too.  Any youth pastor can tell you that there are a lot of voices clamoring for your attention.  Whether it’s Ron Luce (or one of his interns) on the phone wanting to know if you’re coming to the next Acquire the Fire event, or Interlinc in your e-mail box asking if you’re ready to  renew your subscription, or one of your teens who just got finished watching the Cardboard Testimonies texting you to ask “Do you think I’ll ever have anything to write on my cardboard?”

Sometimes those voices are vital.  Sometimes they are just distractions.  And you have to be able to distinguish between the two.  It’s no good just to put in the ear plugs and turn a deaf ear to everything.

You’ve got to be able to tune out those voices that don’t really matter if you’re going to hear the ones that do.  Especially that gentle whisper that comes after the firestorm.

A 160GB iPod Classic

160 GB iPod Classic (Sixth Generation)

You’d better order this one quickly.  Apple’s not making the big ones any more.  Apparently they’ve decided that 120GB should be enough for anyone.  Poppycock!

Of course, an iPod is probably a surprising addition to a woodcutter’s toolbox.  But woodcutting is more than just cutting wood.  There’s a lot of wood carrying, wood stacking, and brush burning involved as well.  And when you’re doing those mindless tasks it’s good to have something to keep the mind busy.

But despite the good amount of quality music on my iPod (and the heaping piles of perfectly average music thanks to Interlinc), I don’t usually listen to music when I’m woodcutting.  I’m more of an audiobook and podcast kind of guy.  Like I said, I like to keep the mind busy.  And I’m convinced that you haven’t heard Rob Bell the way he was meant to be heard until you’ve listened to him preach with the sound of a chainsaw in the background.  (Just make sure you’re not the one operating said chainsaw.  There’s something less than safe about hooking your earlobes to dangling wires while leaning over a saw’s whirling chain.)

And it’s not just woodcutting that has it’s goodly share of mindless tasks.  There are plenty of mindless tasks in youth ministry.  Cleaning up after Sunday School.  Cleaning up after small group Bible Study.  Cleaning up after the midweek worship service. Cleaning up after . . . well, you get the drift.  Why not occupy the mind while you’re serving the Body?  Is there a podcast that could challenge or inspire your faith?  An audiobook that could provide you with valuable information?  Even listening to some well-read, mindless fiction can help you develop your skills as a storyteller.

Grab an iPod or other mp3 player and start multi-tasking when you’re doing those mindless tasks.  Just make sure it’s Audible ready.

Steel Toed Red Wings with Metatarsal Shields

Steel Toed Red Wings with Metatarsal Shield

No, Gman, I’m not talking about hockey players.

I’m talking about work boots.  And the pair I wear look neither as comfortable nor as pristine as the one pictured here.  Mine are old and well worn, left over from college summers spent in the machine shop at Flint and Walling and in the Newnam Foundry.

You can’t always wear a pair of work boots while woodcutting.  Sometimes the snow is deep enough that you need a good pair of winter muck boots.  But trust me, if it’s possible to get away with work boots instead of muck boots, you’ll find me in my Red Wings.  With all those heavy logs falling down and rolling around, it’s reassuring to know that my lower digits are safely encased in protective metal.

Of course, woodcutting isn’t the only place you are prone to get your toes hurt.  When you’re a youth pastor, people tend to step on them all the time.  You’ve got a lot of people out there who are pretty sure they know better than you what your youth ministry really needs.  And while only some of them are willing to tell you about it, most of them are more than willing to tell everyone else.

If youth ministry (or any ministry for that matter) is God’s calling on your life, you’ve got to develop steel toes.  Either that or a flint forehead.  Because if you run from criticism you’re in for a marathon.  You can’t allow criticism to devastate you.

Better yet, you need to develop the ability to take criticism for what it’s worth.  Sometimes it’s not worth much.  But sometimes it can be an answer to prayer.  You’ve been asking God to make your ministry stronger.  You’ve been asking him to show you the places you need to grow.  It could be that some of those critics out there are the answers to those prayers.  Granted, most of them probably aren’t.  But some of them might be.  And if you are so busy being devastated or defensive you can’t hear the helpful criticism, you’ve lost a valuable opportunity for growth.

So don’t hide from your critics.  Put on your steel toes and learn from them.

Your Very Own J-Dubs

Sorry, J-Dubs is not sold in stores.

This is perhaps the most important “thing” in my tool box.  I rarely go woodcutting without my best friend in Indiana.  He’s got the connections to the trees that need to come down.  He’s got the truck and the trailer.  Most importantly, he’s got my back.

It’s a dangerous thing to go wood cutting alone.  You’ve heard the stories of the woodcutter who found his arm pinned under a tree and had to saw through his elbow to go find help. (Or maybe that was a farmer.) Either way, I personally refuse to drop a tree without someone there to watch my back.  And I won’t let Josh do it either.  It’s just too big of a risk to take.

Now, the bad news is, at least to my knowledge, there are no more J-Dubs available.  He’s one of a kind.  And you can’t have mine.

But that doesn’t change the fact that it’s a dangerous thing to try to do ministry alone.  You need someone to watch your back.  Someone to keep an eye on the trees and let you know when they when they’re falling your way. And perhaps most important of all, someone to offer some help when you find yourself trapped.  Besides, having the company along the way makes the journey far more pleasant.  Many hands make work light.

So, who’s got your back?

Have you thanked them lately?

(Thanks, Josh!)

Tim Schmoyer at Life in Student Ministry got me thinking recently.  One of his (and my) favorite posts is his article 100 Blog Topics I Hope YOU Write About.  And in that list of ideas for youth ministry bloggers is this nugget at #25: “Sermon presentations versus small group discussion Bible studies.”  That got me thinking about why I do what I do.  Our backbone event is built around the preaching of the Word.  Preaching is central to our youth ministry and the essential core of my calling.

Then again, I don’t know that “versus” is necessarily the right word.  There is a place for both small group discussions and sermon presentations in youth ministry, and both take place as a part of our youth ministry at Water’s Edge.  But they aren’t the same, and – truth be told – if you told me I could only do one or the other, I would choose to preach.

I believe in preaching

Of course such a blanket statement then begs the question “why?”

I’m so glad you asked.

There is a unique and spiritual power that comes with the preaching of God’s Word.  If you don’t believe me, all I need to do is point you to some of the greatest sermons ever preached.  Take for example my favorite sermon of all time, Martin Luther King, Jr’s “I’ve been to the Mountaintop” sermon.

And that’s just a small taste of it that has been edited together. (When it cuts to the crowd scene between “We aren’t going to let any injunction turn us around” and “Well, I don’t know what will happen now” it actually cuts out a good portion of the sermon. You can read or hear the full sermon at americanrhetoric.com.)

My favorite part actually comes earlier.  In it Dr. King imagines what he would say if God gave him the choice about what era in history he would choose to live in.  Dr. King thinks imaginatively from the time of the Exodus, to the time of his namesake Martin Luther and the reformation, to the time of Abraham Lincoln.  And at each era he says “But I wouldn’t stop there.”

But I wouldn’t stop there. Strangely enough, I would turn to the Almighty, and say, “If you allow me to live just a few years in the second half of the twentieth century, I will be happy.” Now that’s a strange statement to make, because the world is all messed up. The nation is sick. Trouble is in the land. Confusion all around. That’s a strange statement. But I know, somehow, that only when it is dark enough, can you see the stars. And I see God working in this period of the twentieth century in a away that men, in some strange way, are responding — something is happening in our world. The masses of people are rising up. And wherever they are assembled today, whether they are in Johannesburg, South Africa; Nairobi, Kenya; Accra, Ghana; New York City; Atlanta, Georgia; Jackson, Mississippi; or Memphis, Tennessee — the cry is always the same — “We want to be free.”

Someone might try to argue that this is a speech, not a sermon.  But that passage is the heart of what true preaching is.  It is perhaps the purest example of kerygma since Jesus himself announced “The Kingdom of God is at hand.”  But more on that later.  When you listen to this sermon, there can be no doubt as to the power of preaching.

But not only is preaching powerful, it is God-ordained.  1 Corinthians 1:18-21 speaks of this.

For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God. For it is written:
“I will destroy the wisdom of the wise;
the intelligence of the intelligent I will frustrate.”
Where is the wise man? Where is the scholar? Where is the philosopher of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world? For since in the wisdom of God the world through its wisdom did not know him, God was pleased through the foolishness of what was preached to save those who believe. (NIV)

Catch that?  God was pleased, through the foolishness of preaching (the Greek does not distinguish between the act of kerygma and the content of the kerygma here) to save those who believe.

Lastly, I believe in preaching because that’s what I’ve been called to do.  My personal vocation is to preaching.  The one passage of scripture through which God most clearly speaks to me and says “Hey you, I’m talking to you” more than any other is 1 Timothy 4:9-16:

This is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance (and for this we labor and strive), that we have put our hope in the living God, who is the Savior of all men, and especially of those who believe.

Command and teach these things. Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity. Until I come, devote yourself to the public reading of Scripture, to preaching and to teaching. Do not neglect your gift, which was given you through a prophetic message when the body of elders laid their hands on you.

Be diligent in these matters; give yourself wholly to them, so that everyone may see your progress. Watch your life and doctrine closely. Persevere in them, because if you do, you will save both yourself and your hearers. (NIV)

If it didn’t sound so corny, I’d call that my life verse.  In it God speaks directly to my heart and says “Here, this is for you.”

Of course, that also means that I believe in teaching too.  (After all, that was part of the threefold call — the public reading of scripture, preaching and teaching.)  But while I’m called to both teach and preach, I understand that there is a difference between the two tasks.

A Tale of Three Words

Actually, it’s a lot more than three.  In fact, Gerhard Friedrich lists over 33 New Testament words translated as “preach” in his article on kerysso in The Theological Dictionary of the New Testament.  But while we’re talking about teaching and preaching, there are three words of particular interest to me.

didasko – I Teach

The New Testament talks quite a bit about teaching, and the word didasko is used most often to refer to that calling.  And when it comes to teaching in the New Testament there are two things that primarily formed the subject of teaching.  NT teaching centered on instructing others about the Scriptures, and about the teachings of Jesus Christ.  The act of teaching took these authoritative foundations for faith and sought to explain contemporary circumstances in light of them.  Teaching was applying foundational truths to contemporary reality, and its goal was understanding – understanding both the foundational truths and understanding contemporary reality in light of those truths.

An icon of John the Baptist, herald of the coming Christ

kerysso – I proclaim

Kerysso and the related noun kerygma are perhaps the best known of the New Testament words for preaching.  Together they occur 69 times in the New Testament and are more often than not translated preach(ing).  But it is a fairly narrow term.

Kerysso refers to the task of a herald (Greek: keryx).  And a herald has a specific task – to announce what the King is doing.  As a result, the subject of kerygma is not doctrine, nor comfort, nor exhortation, nor any of the other things that preachers get up to talk about on Sundays.  As Friedrich writes in the aforementioned TDNT article “Preaching [kerygma] is not a lecture on the nature of God’s kingdom.  It is proclamation, the declaration of an event.”  The subject of kerygma is always an event, because that’s what a herald does.  She stands in the public square and proclaims, “This is happening and it’s too important for you to miss.  So pay attention.”

And for Christian kerygma obviously the content of our proclamation is the Christ event.  We herald what God has done, and what God is doing through Jesus Christ and his Body to redeem the world.  Like Martin Luther King, Jr. the herald announces that this is a day of good news because “I see God working in this period.”

And given the fact that the subject of kerygma is an event, the goal of kerygma is not so much understanding as it is faith.  In 1 Corinthians 2 Paul writes “When I came to you, brothers, I did not come with eloquence or superior wisdom as I proclaimed to you the testimony about God. For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and him crucified . . . My message and my preaching [kerygma] were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit’s power, so that your faith might not rest on men’s wisdom, but on God’s power. (1-2, 4-5, NIV)”

Paul notes the difference between teaching in order to create understanding, and preaching to inspire faith.  The former is done on the foundation of logic and wisdom and the goal is to convince by creating understanding.  The latter is based, as Paul says, in the power of the Spirit and facilitates faith.  Faith is more than mere mental understanding – it is a trusting obedience and a willing participation in the event being proclaimed.  The goal of kerygma is not only to understand what is happening, but to join in the event to which the herald points.

A Russian icon of the prophet Isaiah

parakaleo – I ??????

It’s this word for preaching (or more accurately the related noun paraklesis) that Paul uses in the passage from 1 Timothy 4 which I quoted earlier.  But this is a tough one to translate.  No English word comes close to the range of meanings wrapped up in this single Koine term.  The best I can do at translating this word into a succinct English phrase would be “I serve as a paraclete” that enigmatic word Jesus uses to describe the work of the Holy Spirit and which 1 John applies to the interceding resurrected Christ.

What exactly is a paraclete?  Or, better yet given that it is a noun derived from a verb, what does a paraclete do?

Some translations use the word “advocate” to translate paraclete – as in a legal advocate.  The verb parakaleo sometimes refers to calling out for help, and the paraclete is the one who answers that summons and speaks on behalf of the defendant in a legal proceeding.  Technically, it is not the same thing as the defense counsel – there was another word for the one who offers legal advice to the accused – but rather as one who addresses the court on behalf of the witness. And while it doesn’t typically happen from the pulpit (save during the pastoral prayer) an essential part of true preaching is a pastor’s intercession on behalf of her people.

However, some translations use the word “comforter” instead.  And while some preaching might feel like being smothered by a wet blanket, I don’t think that’s the type of “comforter” the translators had in mind.  (So sorry, couldn’t resist the pull of a really lame joke there.)  Instead the word parakaleo is used to refer to offering comfort and encouragement to those who are struggling.  And this certainly can be accomplished through preaching.

When I think of preaching as comfort and encouragement, I’m drawn to Isaiah 40 which begins:

Comfort, comfort my people,
says your God.
Speak tenderly to Jerusalem,
and proclaim to her

that her hard service has been completed,
that her sin has been paid for,
that she has received from the LORD’s hand
double for all her sins. (1-2, NIV)

I don’t know if your heart is stirred by that passage like mine is, but I hear God calling to me through those words.  “Comfort my church.  Speak tenderly to her.  Proclaim to her that her sin has been paid for.”  There are a lot of times that preachers beat their wounded hearers over the head with harsh words which only serve to break the bruised reed and smother the smoldering wick.  And when that happens, God’s heart breaks, because He is calling for a prophet who will comfort (the Septuagint even uses a form of parakaleo here) His people.  Part of preaching is speaking words of comfort and encouragement.

The third word sometimes used to translate parakaleo is exhort.  In secular Greek it was used to describe the military leader mustering his troops and shouting words of command and encouragement to them.  And sometimes that too is a picture of the preacher’s task.  We call out to the church, “Wake up!  Rise from the dead! Christ is calling you to action.”

In both of these senses of the preacher’s task, comfort and exhortation, the subject of preaching is a word from God.  It’s not just an explanation of the foundational truths of our faith, it is God’s word for God’s people in this place at this time.  It is grounded in God’s Word, but it flows from the preacher’s role as intercessor.  As I plead for my people before God, and wrestle with His Word on their behalf, he speaks through me.  Preaching is contextualized communication, far more so than teaching or writing which could be communicated to anyone, anywhere.

And it’s goal?  This too is somewhat hard to put into words.  The goal of paraklesis is to get it out of me.  When I didasko my goal is to affect change in the hearer and bring about understanding.  When I kerysso my goal is to affect (or at least facilitate) change in the hearer and call them to faith (which in the end is the gift of God, not by works – either theirs or mine).  But when I parakaleo my driving motivation is not located in them, it is in me.

There is a Word I must speak.

Yes, I hope this Word will facilitate change in them.  But that’s not why I speak it.  I speak it because I must speak it.  Like John on Patmos wiping the crumbs of scroll from the front of his cloak, I find the Word which I have been chewing on as I hold it in tension with the community for whom I have been faithfully intercedeing, the Word which I have been worrying like a dog worries a bone, is turning my stomach sour.  It is churning inside me and it must be spoken.  My primary goal is not to facilitate faith in my hearers, it is to demonstrate faithfulness to the Word entrusted to me.

But Why is Preaching More Important?

Again, I don’t know that it is.  Preaching and teaching are both essential aspects of the pastor’s calling.  Faith must be informed.  The same Paul who stresses the absolute necessity of faith also pleads with God to fill the church he loves with all spiritual understanding (Colossians 1:9).  The same Paul who calls Timothy to faithfully execute his duties as a preacher also calls him to watch his doctrine (didaskalia, literally that which is taught) diligently.  However I think preaching is vitally important not only to the church but to youth ministry in particular for a few reasons:

1. As noted earlier, true preaching is contextualized in a way that other forms of communication are not. I realize that faithful teachers intercede on behalf of their students no less than faithful preachers their congregants.  But the Bible seems to indicate that in preaching there is a unique Spiritual power which communicates the living, acting Word to this people in this place in a wholly unique way.  And our teens need to hear that contextualized Word just as much as our adults.
2. God has, throughout history, ordained preaching as the way to exhort His church to action. Again, I’m not trying to suggest that God hasn’t ordained teaching too.  But the preaching of the Word is the customary way God has chosen to speak to his people throughout the ages, and as a result God will probably still be speaking through preaching when my teens are in their Senior years.  Therefore, if I can teach them how to listen to preaching in our youth ministry, I am equipping them to receive spiritual sustenance throughout their lives.  Just as teaching them spiritual disciplines is a vital part of my role as youth pastor so that they can develop the habits necessary to carry their faith into adulthood, so to is teaching them to attend to the preaching of the Word.  In fact, such attention is itself a spiritual discipline.
3. Preaching, even more than teaching, is a call to action. Because its object is faith, not merely understanding, preaching drives home the “so what?” of Christianity.  Preaching always seeks to answer the “What then shall we do?”  And in a world in which Christianity has increasingly been reduced to a set of intellectual affirmations instead of a way of living in the world, this call to action is needed now more than ever.

Of course, there are drawbacks to preaching, especially preaching done poorly.  We must be working hard to become better preachers, and we must find a way to help preaching become multi-sensory and experiential.  But that’s the subject of later posts.

That’s what I think.  What about you?  I realize that this is written from the perspective of a youth pastor who’s primary call is to “preach the Word.”  What about those of you who feel uniquely called to teach?  What’s your take on this issue?

A family helped by Heifer International

I’ve been giving my youth group a Christmas gift for about as long as I’ve been doing youth ministry.  Honesty, I only vaguely remember what most of them were.  I remember having to shop carefully to find something that I could afford to give each of my teens on a youth pastor’s salary.  And I remember some pretty cheesy gifts that I hoped would have some meaning.  I remember candy canes one year (complete with a card explaining the “significance” of candy canes for them to ignore).  I remember apple Christmas tree ornaments, and an explanation of the origins of the Christmas tree tradition.  And I remember some bookmarks, though when it comes to what they said, I’ve no clue.

And while I have only vague recollections, I secretly suspect that I’m the only one with any memories at all.  My teens have long forgotten the gifts I so carefully selected.

But there are two gifts that stick out.

Two years ago I gave them a goat.  Well, not them, per se.  But a needy family somewhere in our world.  We were teaching about the revolutionary message of Christmas that year, and I made a donation to Heifer International in honor of my students.  And last year I made a donation to the clean water project our youth group was raising money for.  And while I imagine the bookmarks and apple ornaments have long been replaced, somehow I don’t imagine the goat in Africa or the well in Haiti suffered the same fate.

I remember when the thought first crossed my mind.  Heifer animals have been on my Christmas list for a few years now, but I never gave one to someone else.  And then as I was working trying to come up with a meaningful gift, it was like God spoke.  Why pay money to give them something they don’t really want and certainly don’t need?  Why not give that gift to someone who really does?

And I chose Heifer Int’l.  Why?  I like their sense of mission.  And I like the way they go about it.  I especially liked the thought that the gift of one animal would actually become a gift that is given over and over.  I love Heifer’s “Pass it On” program.  Here’s a video about it:

I don’t know about you, but there’s something about hearing Moses Ngobi say “I received a pass on and now it’s my turn to pass on the gift” that really gets me.  That means one person’s gift has now transformed the lives of at least three families.  That’s why I like Heifer.  One gift keeps giving.

So this year I’m going to give another animal.   What will you give?

I was talking with a friend of mine recently, about his challenges in getting a new youth ministry off the ground.  He knew what to do, it was just that there were obstacles at every turn.  It reminded me of how hard starting out can really be.  And it got me thinking about how we started out here.

When I first moved to Middletown, over six years ago now, I took things slow.  We moved in the first of October and I immediately started at the church.  However, we did not hold our first youth service until three months later, when school started back up in January after Christmas vacation.  And we didn’t launch our grand opening promoting the service to the general public until March.  During those first several months, I focused on building a core volunteer team and laying the ground work for the youth service we would eventually call Water’s Edge.  Our praise team met weekly to practice.  Our leadership council began planning and preparing.  But we didn’t have any youth services other than our weekly Sunday School classes on Sunday morning.  What I understood then was that for a youth ministry to succeed, it had to have a backbone.

What is a “backbone” program?

According to Todd Capin’s Youthworker Journal article from 1998, now available online from Youth Specialities website, a backbone meeting is “the ministry time around which all other youth group ministries and meetings revolve and function.”  He goes on to give this sound advice: “In fact, until a student ministry has established a backbone, all other facets to the group should be put on hold (or at least pared back) until a solid, regular, backbone meeting is established.” 

Quite honestly, I don’t know where I picked up the name “backbone program.”  I’ve been calling it that for longer than I can remember, but it very well may have come from Capin’s article.  But whether the name came from him or some another long forgotten source, the idea is a sound one, as is his advice.  Every youth group needs a core event around which to build it’s identity and through which it can reach out to others.  Granted, “every” might be hyperbole, especially in the age of postmodernism, but I cannot think of a youth ministry which would not benefit from the firm foundation of a backbone program.

However, backbone programs are neither easy to establish nor maintain.  A core program, if it is to have both quality and depth, requires careful and regular planning.  Gathering the team required to pull off such an event is likewise time consuming, and keeping them equipped and encouraged requires faithful attention.  That’s why Capin’s advice is so good.  If you wait until you have a surfeit of time and energy to launch such an endeavor, you will likely never begin.  However, if you prioritize the backbone you can ensure that you have a firm foundation on which to build additional programming.

What does it take to create a strong backbone program?

It takes vision. Hopefully you have a vision for the youth ministry God wants to grow through you.  There is a sense of vocation in your life, a path to which God is calling, a direction in which He wants you to lead His people.  If not, I’d suggest you start here, in prayer, seeking the will of God for your ministry.  I could violently rip a verse of scripture from it’s context and use it as a prooftext to prove that with out such a vision, your ministry has no hope of survival.  But I don’t think you need me to do that.  You already know it’s true.  The question is are you living out what you already know?

It takes an identity. As I noted in my post on Harnessing the Power of Friendship our goal in marketing Water’s Edge is to create a community awareness of what we do so that when one of our teens invites their friend to Water’s Edge, that friend will 1) Already have heard of us, 2) Already be curious about what happens here and 3) Be looking for an excuse to come check it out.  If we can create that kind of curiosity, inviting friends to Water’s Edge becomes one of the easiest things in the world to do.

However, they can’t have heard of you if you haven’t done what it takes to create an identity for your youth ministry.  Sit down with your leadership team.  Review the vision God has given you, and then begin to search out a way of communicating that vision through your identity.  For example, when we first began planning our backbone program, we knew we wanted a place that 1) was fun, 2) was for friends, 3) suggested the possibility of adventure, 4) was perhaps a little dangerous (there’s the potential you could get swept away) and 5) was just the beginning of something vastly greater.  Given that vision, the name Water’s Edge was a natural fit.  And we began designing our identity from the starting point of vision.

It takes consistency. Again, when it comes to what is keeping our teens from inviting their friends to church, the fear of the invitation being accepted is as big a hindrance as the fear of rejection.  At least that’s what my discussions with teens at the Fall retreat last weekend seemed to indicate.  Teens aren’t really anxious to invite their friends to something that may embarrass them as host.  Nor are they inspired to invite friends if they always have to first ask “Are we even having youth group this week?”  Consistent quality and consistent execution are essential if you are going to build up enough credibility with your teens for them to feel safe in bringing their friends.  If every other week your youth meetings are chaotic, disorganized and poorly run, or worse yet, if every other week your youth meeting gets canceled for some reason, you will never develop a strong backbone.

It takes momentum. No backbone is fully formed over night.  At some point you will have to decide you are ready and launch, but don’t feel like you have to hit a home run the first time you step up to the plate.  Instead, focus on building momentum.  Challenge your team to find a small way in which they can be creative and innovative.  Try something new and exciting.  Pull it off.  Then plan something slightly bigger.  Get the ball rolling with something you can achieve and then build the momentum to pull off the innovations that right now seem impossible.  This is especially important if you are in a church that has a history of talking big but never delivering.  Momentum, along with consistency, will give you the credibility you need to inspire your students and volunteers to attempt the incredible.

It takes hospitality. I recently wrote an entire post on this issue, so I won’t belabor the point here.  But suffice it to say if you don’t have the time, volunteers and space to convey to your guests the message “we were thinking about you long before you ever came” you need find a way to get creative with the resources you do have and creatively develop more.

It takes volunteers. I’ve got to admit I almost feel like a hypocrite here because this is the one area in which right now our youth ministry is the weakest.  It’s not that we have bad volunteers, it’s just that right now we don’t have enough.  That core group of volunteers that I took so long to develop when we first began has dwindled.  Some have moved into other ministries; others have gone to serve as pastors in other churches; Some simply find that Water’s Edge no longer fits into their increasingly busy schedules.  And those that remain are overworked and underappreciated.

It’s the one area where I really need to creatively develop more resources if we are going to continue to grow.  But just because we’re weak in it right now doesn’t mean I don’t understand the importance of it.  (On the contrary, I probably understand it’s importance now more than ever.)  You cannot create a safe environment where students can feel comfortable bringing their friends without adequate volunteers.  You cannont consistently pull off a program that is organized and excellent without adequate volunteers.  And you cannot reach out to more students without having the infrastructure in place to minister to them. So whatever it takes, find a way to recruit, develop, encourage and retain quality volunteers.  Without them you will fail.

So, you’ve mastered the art of harnessing the power of friendliness and because of word of mouth and word of mouse, new teens are checking out your youth ministry.  Now that they’re here, how do you make sure they “stick?”

The answer, in a word, is hospitality.  Merriam-Webster’s Unabridged dictionary defines it as “the cordial and generous reception and entertainment of guests or strangers socially or commercially.”  My favorite definition however comes from Washington Irving who said “There is an emanation from the heart in genuine hospitality which cannot be described, but is immediately felt and puts the stranger at once at his ease.” (from his story “Christmas Eve” in The Sketch Book of Geoffrey Crayon, Gent.)

I like that a lot.  Genuine hospitality is hard to define and when you try to do so you end up with a cold fish of a phrase like “the cordial and generous reception and entertainment of guests or strangers socially or commercially.”  (No offense, George, Charles and Noah.)  But while hospitality is hard to define, it’s easy to recognize.  Some places, some people, simply have a way of putting a guest at ease which is immediately felt by all.

But more than something that we do, hospitable is something that we are.  Danny Meyer, author of Setting the Table puts it this way:

“Hospitality is present when something happens for you.  It is absent when something happens to you.  These two simple concepts—for and to—express it all.”

As long as we equate hospitality with all the things we do to our visitors, we miss the point.   Instead we must be hospitable for them, and most of that hospitality takes place long before they ever visit.  If I were writing the dictionary, I’d define hospitality as “the way we show others that we had them in mind before they ever came be our guest.”  Maybe it’s the Wesleyan in me, but hospitality is prevenient.

So how do we become a hospitable youth group?

Change the Culture

We live in a culture where we are constantly told that it is all about us.  Both the media and the marketplace are stumbling over themselves to customize our experiences to our own personal tastes.  What we want, we get.  It’s all about me.   I’m the customer and the customer is always right.  (Hospitality in this case, is directed toward me rather than shown by me.)  So it’s no surprise that when I come to church or youth group, I expect similar treatment.  After all, I could just as easily walk out the door and attend the next church down the road.

But as members of the church, we are called to show hospitality, not expect hospitality.  That means when it comes to designing a youth group event to reach out to and hold on to friends, it’s not about me or my regulars any longer.  A friend-friendly youth event isn’t for your teens.   At least, not directly.   Instead, it is for their friends.  It is our way of equipping our teens to share their faith by giving them something to which they can invite their friends.  That’s not to say your teens should hate what you do — your teens won’t invite their friends to something they aren’t passionate and excited about.  But they do need to be reminded that if they are just sitting around enjoying the feast of God’s favor without sharing it with their friends, they aren’t doing what’s right.  In other words, they need to be reminded that what you’re doing isn’t for them, it is for them to bring their friends to.

Hospitality a way of thinking.

One of the most important ways to put hospitality to work is in our decision making process.  When we make decisions as youth leaders and youth councils we (at least hopefully) give them careful consideration.  However, our consideration typical revolves around how this decision effects us.  Sometimes we even go as far as gathering input and information from our regulars on how it will affect them so that our decision can be informed.

But if hospitality means to have the guest in mind before they ever arrive, they should figure into our decision making process along side our regulars.  We don’t base our decisions on what we want or on what would be most convenient for us alone.  We must take them into account.  Each of our youth groups should look not only to its own interests, but also to the interests of others. (Seems like such an attitude would count as Biblical.)

Hospitality is a matter of design.

Image courtesy of MarS from Flickr

If you read my post on lessons learned from Starbucks you know that design can be both boon and bane.  It is possible to intentionally design a space for relationships, but design alone does not create relationships or friendliness.  If people aren’t friendly, even the friendliest room feels awkward and isolating.  However, that’s no excuse for failing to demonstrate hospitality through design.

If hospitality really is demonstrating that you were thinking about your guest before they ever came (and obviously I think it is — otherwise I wouldn’t keep repeating it like this) then how can the layout and furnishing of a youth group’s space communicate hospitality?

Even in the age of mega-youth centers, I do have a bit of advantage here in Middletown over most churches our size.  After two construction campaigns, first a gymnasium, then a new sanctuary, foyer, offices and education wing, our youth group has full reign of the entire “old” (read c. 1985 construction) part of the building.  The 200 seat sanctuary, the fellowship hall, the original educational wing, even the original offices, all of it is now all set aside for youth ministry.  I realize that not everyone has such a generous amount of space.  In fact, at my previous church, a small, aging church of about 80 in a mid-sized Central Illinois city, the only space set apart solely for youth ministry was a 15′ by 15′ Sunday School class room.  However, we were no less intentionally hospitable with our use of space in the small church than we are here in Middletown today.  Even the smallest church can show hospitality to teens, especially if they are willing to make decisions that take those who are not yet attending into account.

To begin with we met on Tuesday nights.  Not Sundays, not Wednesdays, but Tuesdays.  This was in part because we didn’t want to be competing with the mega-church’s high octane youth ministry right around the corner.  this way our teens could attend both.  (Interestingly enough, in Middletown, we still meet on Tuesdays now that <em>we</em> are the big church around the corner, so we’re not seen as competing for teens.)  But it was also because we needed to use the space we had as effectively as possible.  If we met on Wednesdays, we would always be stuck in the 15′x15′ Sunday School room, because the other ministries of the church were meeting in all the other rooms.  But by meeting on Tuesdays we could worship in the sanctuary, welcome guests and attenders in the foyer, run a snack bar out of the fellowship hall and turn the “youth room” into a lounge.  Granted that meant that we had to get students to church on two different nights (teens on Tuesdays, kids on Wednesdays).  And yes that caused some inconveniences for some parents but 1) It’s not about us, it’s about them, and 2) That option was the only way we could have the room to minister to more than those who were already our regulars (both in terms of Children and Youth ministries.) Add to that the fact that the vast majority of our students weren’t from church families so the difference between Tuesday and Wednesday meant nothing to them and moving youth group to Tuesday night was a no-brainer.

Once we found a way to find enough space to be hospitable, we began thinking through everything in terms of what would communicate the idea that we were thinking of the guest even before they came.  It would have been easier to worship in the sanctuary “as is” with the typical furniture in place (this was not an easily portable multi-purpose room set up.)  But every week we cleared the stage and build a youth-friendly set from ground up, only to tear it back down and bring the heavy furniture back in for Sunday.  The youth lounge was set up in light of the teens’ interests and to create attractive conversation groups to facilitate friendliness.  A welcome center was set up in the foyer every week so we could greet everyone as they came through the doors.  And we set up a snack bar in the fellowship hall to promote table fellowship, even if the table was spread with Mountain Dew and Snicker Bars.  And we did all on an annual budget from the church of $0 (not including my salary).  Don’t tell me you can’t afford to be hospitable!

It doesn’t matter how large or how small your church is, you can still intentionally design your space for hospitality.  Here’s some things to think about:

1. Do you have a snack bar? If I were starting to build a youth group from scratch, this is one of the first things I’d do.  Even if it’s just a mini-fridge filled with pop and a few cases of candy bars from Sam’s, I’d have a snack bar.  And not for the money you might possibly make. If you have a snack bar you have something to give every guest who walks through your door for the first time.  (And while you’re at it, give some free food to the person who invited them — remember you’re trying to promote table fellowship.)  If you have a snack bar you have quick and easy prizes for any game you might want to play.  And with the money you make off the reasonable prices, you can even play games for what my teens like to call “Real Cash Prizes.”  (Are you smarter than a Fifth Grader? is a big hit with our students right now.)
2. Do you have places conducive to conversation? If I were building on a budget, the second thing I’d go get is some round plastic patio tables and decks of cards. Maybe even Apples to Apples if there was enough money in the snack bar till to afford it.  There’s nothing like a game to get teens laughing and talking.
3. Can your guests find their way around? “Big Church” is attentive to things like signage and greeters (or at least they should be) but a lot of times youth groups aren’t.  Teens are no less embarrassed if they can’t find the bathroom or the sanctuary than adults are.  And if they feel embarrassed, you’ve lost the hospitality battle.
4. Do you have enough space for teens to be comfortable? Crowds don’t come back to crowded rooms.  And you probably don’t have the budget to build bigger rooms yourself.  But if you can’t get everyone in comfortably, you have all the more reason to start getting creative with space.

Hospitality is a matter of warmth.

Having said all that, we should probably reiterate: all the design in the world can’t overcome coldness.  Danny Meyer, Remember him? The not to but for author…  Anyway, Meyer suggests it’s like a moth and a light bulb.  Suppose a moth is attracted to a light bulb because of both the light and the warmth it emanates.  (Meyer even goes on to suggest we suppose for the sake of argument it’s 49% the light, 51% the warmth.)  Put up a florescent bulb, and there’s no warmth and little attraction.  Now, Meyer knows it’s neither the light nor the warmth for the moth, it’s just an example.  Instead he argues that it’s people who are looking for 51% warm hospitality and 49% technical excellence.  That means we can look as bright (excellent) as we want, but if we’re lacking the warmth, people won’t come back.  (And similarly, we can have the kindest staff ever, but if the food is awful or takes too long — he is writing for restaurateurs — no one will return).  So how do we make sure that our carefully planned youth programming and carefully designed youth space is warm and inviting?

It all begins with a human touch.   How quickly does someone walking through your door come across a smiling face that is glad to see them?  And remember the lessons we learned from Starbucks, we’re not measuring how long it takes one of our regulars to encounter a warm welcome.  What about the first time visitor?  And is that warm and welcome greeting fleeting?  Man, that sounds lame.   But you know what I mean.  Is it a temporary and plastic smile, or does that friendly welcome follow the first-timer everywhere they go?   How long does it take them to find someone they know?  Do you have a plan in place to help them make those connections?  Do your regulars go out of their way to introduce themselves to the first-timer, or are they so focused on their existing friends that there is no room for another?

How about you as leader?  Do you find a way to meet and learn the name of each of your guests, or are you so busy with preparations or closing up that you have no time to say hello?   (I’ve already admitted this is a weakness of mine – but one I’m consciously working on overcoming.)  And how long is it before the first timer is invited to something else?  All of these can help you make sure you not only have the brightness of hospitality but also the warmth.

Now, Time to Talk Back

I’m especially interested to know what your are doing to improve the hospitality of your youth groups.

• How do your decisions and plans demonstrate that you already had your guests in mind?
• What creative ways have you found to design for relationships? How does your facility promote interaction?
• What are you intentionally doing to make sure your group shows warmth to your guests from the moment they arrive?

I’m always looking for good ideas. Let me know what you have tried in the comments below.

And be sure to check out the first part of this series on friendship and hospitality: Harnessing the Power of Friendship to Reach New Teens.