From Sampler to Sower

True Love, Condoms and Purity Pledges

In my last post on this subject, True Love, Waiting and Purity Pledges, I questioned just how newsworthy the recent study by Janet Rosenbaum really is.  The study in question examines how effective purity pledges are in delaying the onset of sexual activity in teenagers by comparing students who report having made such a pledge with students from similar familial, religious and relational backgrounds who did not report making a pledge.

The study finds, ”Adolescents who take virginity pledges are not less sexually active than closely matched adolescents who do not take pledges, but they are less likely to use birth control and condoms.”

Previously, I reflected on what the first part of that finding should suggest about how we minister to teens.  Today I’d like to examine the implications of the second part of that finding – the fact that those who make purity pledges are significantly less likely than non-pledgers to use condoms or birth control if and when they do have sex.

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Purity Pledges and Waiting Until Marriage

The news has been making a lot about a recently released study by Janet E. Rosenbaum which studies the effectiveness of purity pledges in helping teens wait until marriage before having sex.  All the major outlets have run a story, from FoxNEWS to MSNBC, the Chicago Tribune to the Washington Post,  US News and World Report to Newsweek. (Oh, wait.  As far as I can tell, Newsweek is one of the few sources that hasn’t run a story on it yet.)

Stories have been leading with titles as titillating as ‘,Abstinence-only’ is a total crock, That virginity pledge I took didn’t work….and now I have four children, and the incredibly misleading Study: Teens Who Took Virginity Plan More Likely To Have Sex.

However, I have to wonder just how newsworthy this really is. (more…)

"I'm beautiful this way!"

If you subscribe to my Twitter feed, @pastorbuhro, or if you read it in the sidebar of this blog, you know I really enjoy listening to all the things my three-year-old daughter Mackenzie has to say. A few days ago I was listening to her play with her youngest brother (Brock, age 5) in their shared bedroom. They were in their dress-up toy box and I heard her explain, “I’m dressed up like Snow White because I’m beautiful this way.”

Of course I had to go and see just what she was talking about. And there she was, in her Snow White blouse, Bibleman cape, and pink toy high heels.

Being a good father, I knew I had to grab my new camera and get a picture of this fashion statement.

And being a good son I also knew I had to get the picture up on flickr so her Grandmas up north could see it.

But once all that was done, I began to think about what I’d just heard: my daughter, explaining to her brother, “I’m beautiful this way.” And that got me thinking.   I began wondering how many more years my daughter will be able to look into the mirror and say that.

I’d like to think that she will grow up into a confident young lady who, when asked, will explain,” I’m dressed like this because I’m beautiful this way.”  But thirteen years as a youth pastor makes me skeptical.

I’ve met very few young ladies who had the confidence to say “I’m beautiful this way.”  I’ve met a lot who said “I would be beautiful, if only I wasn’t so . . .”  I’ve met a lot who dressed to make up for a beauty they feared they lacked (even when they didn’t lack beauty at all.)  And I’ve seen far too many tragic consequences that come with this loss of confidence.

But I’ve met very few who look into the mirror and see beauty rather than flaws.

As a youth pastor, I know the struggle for positive body image is one that comes with adolescence for both boys and girls.

As a youth pastor, and more frighteningly as a father, I’m not sure what to do about it.

So I started to study.  Over the past week I’ve been reading everything I can get my hands on concerning developing positive body image in kids and teens.  Here’s what I’ve learned, presented not as an expert (i.e. someone who’s tried it and found that it works) but rather as a father and pastor looking for sound advice for helping his kids.

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Weekend Teaching Series: Write them On My Heart (A series on the 10 Commandments)

Message Title: Word Five: You will Honor Your Father and Mother

Sermon in a Sentence: God calls us to understand the importance of our parents in our life, and to treat them with the respect they deserve.

Text(s): Deuteronomy 5:16; Ephesians 6:1

Weekend Scale of Difficulty: 7 of 10; Two video clips tonight, including one that needed some editing.  Lots of unusual buttons and cues for tech crew.  But what really made it tough was the subject matter.  If you’re honest and faithful both to scripture and the realities in which your teens live, this subject can be messy and brings up tough questions that defy easy answers.

Message Summary: We started by breaking out the Beat Box and kickin’ it old school.  The year was 1988.  It was the summer after my eighth grade year.  (And yes, that really is me on the right.)  I was at Purdue university, enrolled in their Star program, taking classes in Biology and Chemistry.  I was walking from my dorm to the science building for class when a car drove by with windows down.  And for the first time in my life, this boy from Nowhereville, Indiana heard rap.  It was DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince with their 1988 hit “Parents Just Don’t Understand”

(Did you know that iTunes actually sells this old music video?  It was at this point that we played it. Or at least the first “verse.” Before you show it, take time to examine the graffiti in the background and edit out any you find too offensive. It goes by quick and is hard to notice, but you might want to redact some of it.)

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