From Sampler to Sower

It’s been a bittersweet day today.

It’s Sunday, January 31 as I write this.  Unusual I know.  I don’t normally write on Sunday.  (Of course, I guess you could say lately, I don’t normally write.)

But I’ve got some time on my hands now.  I’m sitting in the food court at the mall while my son and a bunch of his friends watch To Save A Life with about 100 others from our church.  I went to the first showing with about 200 of my closest friends.  And as good as it was, I didn’t feel like sitting through a second round so soon.  So while he watches, I’m writing.

The movie is a big part of the sweetness of the day.  (I should probably be posting this in my “Why I Love My Church” series, but instead it’s here.)  We really felt like this movie was something God wanted to use to speak to our youth ministry and church.

We cast the vision to our church to buy out  a single showing of the movie to make it available free of charge to as many teens and their families as possible.  Generous donors stepped forward and put forward the money to purchase 210 tickets.

And then last Sunday morning we gave away 240 ticket vouchers.

Back to the drawing board.

Back to the donors.

Back to the box office to purchase 100 more tickets.

Talk about generosity!  People caught the vision, stepped forward, and gave!

And now that generosity is paying off.  Like I said, the second group’s watching the movie now.  It’s been a blast just watching the excitement this movie has generated.

And as I’ve been telling folks, To Save a Life doesn’t end when the credits roll.  We’re following up the movie with teen and adult Sunday School classes inspired by themes from the movie.  Exciting things are happening.

Tempering the sweetness of the day is the nagging realization in the back of my mind that today is also my last day in full time youth ministry, at least for now.

About three months ago our staff was warned by the finance committee that if things didn’t change financially for our church cuts would have to be made.  Like so many churches, and so many families, we’re feeling the pinch. After a lot of prayer, and a lot of hard decisions we were told that as of February 1, all our positions would be cut in half, both in terms of time expected and in pay received.

It’s seemed surreal for a long time now.  Mentally, I knew it was coming.  But it’s just now sinking in that it’s actually happening.  Good thing since the cuts go into effect tomorrow.

I can’t tell you how I really feel about all of this.

I can’t even tell you for sure what we are doing.

Looking at our budget, the plan right now is to tighten our belts and trust God for the rest.  I was called into full time Christian ministry.  And I was ordained for that calling.  I’m not going to work less just because they can’t pay me what they have been lately.  I didn’t answer the call on the provision that the pay offered met a certain threshold.

What’s more I was called to Middletown.  I didn’t come here because I needed a place to work.  I didn’t even come because I always wanted to work with Phil Rogers.  I did.  But I told Phil no when he first asked me.  I only said yes when I felt God clearly calling me to Middletown.  And if the financial uncertainty has done anything, it’s driven me to my knees.  I know now more than ever this is where God wants me, at least for now.

So I’m staying, and I’m working anyway.

Of course, it may be that our budget figures are off.  I may find out a couple months into this that tightening our belt isn’t enough to pay the bills.  I may have to look to replace some of the income lost by the pay cuts.

Jill, our children’s pastor suggested we all look for jobs at the local gas station so parishioners have to look a pastor in the eye to buy their cigarettes and lottery tickets.  Who knows?  Maybe.

But for now we’re trying to live frugally and trust God for the extras.  In the meantime, I’m trying to find ways to supplement things with ministry activities.  I’ll try my hand at some writing, and throw my name out there for speaking.

(Now that you mention it, if you need a speaker for anything, keep me in mind.  I know a guy who might have the time and some kids who could use the money.)

In some ways, I’m sad.  It would break my heart to have to cut back on ministry in order to make ends meet.  Hopefully this is just a short term reality.  Who knows where our church will be financially a year from now?

(Answer: God.  When things are uncertain, don’t forget that fact!)

But more than sad, I’m excited.  This is like an adventure.  I mentioned about  a year ago one of my New Year’s resolutions was to seek a way to live on less – about a sixth less, so we could be more generous.  I guess God just thought we just needed to step that up a notch.  I can’t wait to see what God wants to do through this.

When the news of the cuts first hit, God gave me this promise in my daily devotions:

You will go out in joy
and be led forth in peace;
the mountains and hills
will burst into song before you,
and all the trees of the field
will clap their hands.
Instead of the thornbush will grow the pine tree,
and instead of briers the myrtle will grow.
This will be for the LORD’s renown,
for an everlasting sign, which will not be destroyed.”
(Isaiah 55:12-13, NIV)

So as far as I’m concerned this is an adventure.  And I’m excited to see what God is growing for us.