From Sampler to Sower

At Water’s Edge, we believe in friendship evangelism, and we understand that our job it to equip teenagers to share their faith with their friends. Our goal is to design a weekly youth program which makes sharing your faith is as easy as saying “Hey, do you want to come to Water’s Edge with me?” But how does a youth ministry make sure they are equipping their teens to reach out in this way, rather than using a professed faith in friendship evangelism as a way to pass the buck of responsibility for evangelism to their teens?

This weekend I’ll be leading a couple workshops entitled “Building a Friend-Friendly Youth Event” at our District’s fall retreat.  That really has me thinking about friendship evangelism and how we equip our teens for it.  In my mind there are two closely related aspects to success in this area.  The first is to unleash the power of the personal invitation.  The second is to practice hospitality so that when the invitation is accepted, guests are more likely to stick.  I’ll be tackling these two topics in a couple of posts.  And I’d love to have some feedback before I head off to retreat.  Sound off in the comments below.

Now, as for harnessing the power of friendship:

Know What Works.

The web is full of statistics about the importance of the personal invitation for evangelism. Both Lawrence Swicegood and George Barna says that 74% of unchurched people polled in Northeast Dallas said they would be more likely to attend church if a friend invited them.  Thom Rainer says that the unchurched report they would at least be “somewhat likely” to attend if they were invited.  The numbers may be different, but every one of these sources agree, the most effective way of getting someone to your church or youth group is through the personal invitation.  There’s a place for outreach events and media promotions, but in the end, it is word of mouth (and what viral marketing guru Seth Grodin calls “word of mouse”) that will really work. Focus first on what works.

Overcome Obstacles to the Personal Invitation.

I really wish I had some great research here to respond to.  But quite honestly, I don’t know of a study that asks the question “Why haven’t you invited someone to church?”   Perhaps it’s out there and I just missed it. If so give it to me in the comments.  There are certainly some people out there making great guesses, but no one with hard numbers.  So the best I can do is make an educated guess myself.  Why don’t our teens invite their friends? And what can we do about it?

1. They don’t even think about inviting their friends.

Here I think the beginning of the answer is twofold.   On one hand, the solution is to create a youth group experience your teens are passionate and enthusiastic about.  If what you are doing is engaging your teens attention, they will talk about it with their friends.  The second part of the solution is to create a culture of invitation.  Stress the importance of inviting on a regular basis. Ask your teens to invite.  Ask them who they are going to invite.  Use your social networking to remind them to invite.  Make it something they think about.

2. They are afraid of rejection.

Perhaps it’s the same reason they’re so hesitant to ask someone out on a date.  They assume if they ask, the answer will be no, and no one wants to hear “no”.  (Of course, they might be right in their expectations – Barna suggests that even though the unchurched claim they would be more likely to come if a friend invited them, typically it takes 3 or more invitations before they say yes.)  So what can we do?  First, lessen the fear of rejection.  Help them understand that when it comes to an invitation to church, a lot of times, no is not no, it’s not now.  Second, increase the chance of success. I’ll talk more about that later, but your job in marketing your youth group is to create a curiousity about your youth group so that your teens friends are already wondering about your youth group and are just waiting for an excuse (like, say, a personal invitation) to come check it out.

3. They are afraid the offer will be accepted.

I know that seems counter-intuitive in light of #2, but I think many times it’s not so much rejection but acceptance that our teens fear.  They want to know that it’s safe for them to invite their friends.  No one wants to invite someone to come to youth group with them if they are convinced they will be embarrassed if their friend actually comes.  If your youth event is boring, poorly planned or poorly executed, your teens won’t want to invite their friends.  (They don’t even want to come themselves.) Conversely, make what you do exciting, interesting and excellent and they will know they can invite without the fear of acceptance.

Find a purple cow.

No, that’s not a typo.  Nor am I losing my mind from lack of sleep.  You really do need a purple cow.  The idea comes from Seth Grodin, who writes:

While driving through France a few years ago, my family and I were enchanted by the hundreds of storybook cows grazing in lovely pastures right next to the road. For dozens of kilometers, we all gazed out the window, marveling at the beauty. Then, within a few minutes, we started ignoring the cows. The new cows were just like the old cows, and what was once amazing was now common. Worse than common: It was boring.
Cows, after you’ve seen them for a while, are boring. They may be well-bred cows, Six Sigma cows, cows lit by a beautiful light, but they are still boring. A Purple Cow, though: Now, that would really stand out. The essence of the Purple Cow — the reason it would shine among a crowd of perfectly competent, even undeniably excellent cows — is that it would be remarkable. Something remarkable is worth talking about, worth paying attention to. Boring stuff quickly becomes invisible.
excerpted from Grodin’s In Praise of the Purple Cow

I think he’s on to something.  Being remarkable means having something people are likely to make a remark about.  And if we’re looking for word of mouth invitations, remarkability is what we need.  So what makes you stand out?  What are you doing that is unique enough, creative enough, compassionate enough to make people start talking?  More importantly, what are you going to do?

How about putting on a dramatic presentation in the city park highlighting the consequences of poor choices and the power of Jesus to redeem?

Maybe it’s having a beach party in your gym, complete with enough sand trucked in to really turn your gym into a beach. (Thanks Todd for that idea. You’ve gotta blog some pictures of that event!  Update – He did!)

Maybe it’s opening a youth center in your small rural town so teens have something to do every day after school, or offering a special event after every home football game to give students a place to hang out.

What will be your group’s purple cow?

Now, it’s time to talk back!

The main reason I’m blogging this is so you can help me.  Like I said, I’ve got to present this information in a little over 48 hours.  What do you think?

• What keeps you or your teens from inviting friends to church?
• What’s your purple cow?  What did you do that went viral and really got people talking?

And come back soon.  In the next 24 hours I’ll post part two in this series: Harnessing the power of hospitality to hang on to new teens.